My compliments to the photographer


Trout Republic

Just the other day Ol’ Dutch was perusing the endless news and juicy Hollywood tidbits on the Internet and ran across an article about movie stars without makeup.
It took an inordinate amount of time to scroll through the different people featured due to the click bait mode of presentation but, boy, were some of them shockers.
I was surprised to find out just how much photo-shopping and makeup can do for a person, which got me to thinking -- a dangerous sport according to Miss Trixie.
It appears that about 90 percent of what we see every day is subject to being altered before printed, and that folks, is just plain false advertisement.
Who among us has not gone to a restaurant or fast food joint and seen those lovely pictures of burgers piled high with scrumptious beef and cheese or breakfasts that look like they came out of a five-star kitchen?
Of course when the burger arrives it’s smashed flat as a pancake and the fries are soggy and jammed in a carton or the breakfast looks like it may have been eaten before we got it. The first thing that crosses my mind is: “My compliments to the photographer.”
During my stints in the journalism world, I learned that there is a difference between photo and image. A photo is supposed to be the original print unaltered while an image can be changed digitally and no guarantee of truthfulness is to be expected.
Those rich movie types are lucky as they can subtract pounds, inches and, in some cases, people out of their lives before being published for all the world to see. Unlike us poor working slobs who have to just go with what we got.
Miss Trixie is still plenty youthful looking without photoshopping and says that’s from having a clear conscience. No wonder Ol’ Dutch is looking old.
Every advertising we see has probably been altered during the picture taking process and never before has that old adage “let the buyer beware” been more important than today.
A grocery ad featuring plump luscious fruits and veggies or juicy steaks and chops just may be a tad misleading.
Of course I do think that Americans are used to being misled and disappointed when we finally see what we have shopped for.
A lot of items fit into this category as who has never gone to look at a used car or boat and come away wondering where the owner was hiding the ones in the photo?
Many of you know that Ol’ Dutch went through some hard times when the ex-wife decided to split the sheets. This led me to invest some hard earned dollars into the online dating site Match.com and let me tell you, there is a lot of false advertising on there.
Many a time Ol’ Dutch would show up for a date and the gorgeous well kept, adequately proportioned, fully toothed, perfectly adorned woman who was in the online picture disappeared like last week’s milk.
 
Ol’ Dutch would be expecting this youngish thing of playful intent and I swear her mother showed up for the date.
I don’t mind if you use your college photo for your profile so much as the ones where the women go get a professional glamor shot. That is just plain misleading to a man on the hunt for companionship. What we need to see is how a woman looks in the morning after a night of the flu. Now that’s a true picture of reality.
It’s not going to change and in fact will get worse as artificial intelligence gets smarter and faster. Soon we will not be able to tell reality from illusion and be fooled more and more.
With Ol’ Dutch it’s all there for you to see and I don’t put on airs for anyone. Dusty old camo pants and a shirt are good enough for about anyone as I lost my give a damn a long time ago I guess.
When I do dress up for church or some other function whereby Miss Trixie puts her foot down on the camo motifs, people poke and prod me looking to see if it’s really me and if I have been photo-shopped myself.
And I have an “in” on the entire process as Miss Trixie being her younger self can outshine any fashion faux pas I may have made.
Now if only she can just get that elk scent smell off Ol’ Dutch she may be able to pass me off as presentable too.

Kevin Kirkpatrick and his Yorkie, Cooper, fish, hunt, ATV or hike daily. His email is [email protected] Additional news can be found at www.troutrepublic.com or on Twitter at TroutRepublic

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